How to plan a family reunion
A family reunion lasts one day. What takes time is before, finding every branch. And what has value is after, what is left once everyone has gone home.
What a large family reunion really is
The descendants of the same ancestral couple, gathered for a day or a weekend. Not the thirty people at Christmas, more like the hundred and fifty who descend from the great-grandparents, half of whom have never met. In France this has its own name, a cousinade, a gathering of cousins. The word comes from the southwest of France, the custom is everywhere.
1. Track down the family
This is the step that decides everything, and the one people underestimate. Nobody has the full list. Each branch knows its own branch, and vaguely knows there are "the cousins in Nantes".
Start from the tree. Put down the ancestral couple and their children, then ask one person per branch to fill in theirs. A shared online tree does this work on its own in a few weeks. Everyone adds their people, corrects a date, finds an address. You get the guest list and, as a bonus, the shared memory that was missing.
2. Set the date and the place
Six months ahead for about thirty people, a year for more than a hundred. A Saturday in May, June or early September, outside school vacations and long weekends. A place with outdoor space, shelter from the rain, restrooms, and easy access for the oldest guests. The community hall of a family village, a group rental, the garden of whoever has a big one.
3. Share the budget
A contribution per adult, announced at the same time as the date, covers the venue and the meal. An organizer who pays for everything and "gets paid back later" ends up covering the difference. An online money pool settles the question in one message.
4. Keep the program light
The program of a family reunion is to let people talk to each other. Three things are enough, a meal where everyone brings something, a moment when the oldest tell their stories in front of everyone, and a group photo for each branch, then one with everyone. A name tag with the first name and the branch saves the first twenty minutes of "and whose son are you?"
5. Collect the memories on the day
In the invitation, ask everyone to bring an old photo and a story. On the day, one person holds a phone. They photograph the photos people brought, record three minutes of each elder telling a story, film the moment of the cake. It is the only day of the year when everyone who knows is in the same room.
The question that gets people talking. "How did your parents meet?" Nobody ever asks it, everybody has an answer.
6. Keep a record everyone can find
The reunion's WhatsApp group dies within three weeks, with the photos inside it. Instead, gather what was collected in the shared tree. Each photo on the person it shows, each recording on the person speaking, the group photo on everyone. The link sent after the reunion is what the cousins will still open in five years, and what will make them want to do the next one.
Parenthèse is made for this. It is a family tree where each person carries their photos, their videos and their voice. The family views it through the link without an account, and contributes with a password. You stay in control of what gets published.
Frequently asked questions
How far in advance should you plan a family reunion?
Six months for about thirty people, a year for more than a hundred. The hard part is not the venue, it is finding and reaching every branch.
How do you find all the cousins to invite?
Start from the family tree. Each known branch leads to someone who knows the next one. A shared online tree that everyone fills in does this work in a few weeks.
What do you do with the photos after the reunion?
Put them on the people they show in a shared family tree, with the recordings and videos from the day. A messaging group loses them within a few weeks.
Who do you invite to a family reunion?
All the descendants of the same ancestral couple, with their partners and children. Pick the starting couple based on the size you want. Grandparents give about thirty people, great-grandparents often more than a hundred.
How much does a family reunion cost?
A contribution per adult covers the venue and the meal. Ask for the price of the venue and the caterer, divide by the number of adults expected, and add a small margin for last-minute no-shows. A town hall or community hall costs far less than a group vacation rental booked for the weekend. Children pay little or nothing.
What food should you serve at a family reunion?
A potluck where each branch brings a dish, the simplest to organize, or a caterer for the main course if the group is over fifty people. Ask each branch to bring the family recipe, the one you only eat at their house. Set up long tables rather than round ones, so the branches mix.
What activities should you plan for a family reunion?
Few, and ones that get people talking. A large tree on the wall where everyone finds their place, a moment when the oldest tell their stories, a group photo for each branch, a guessing game with the childhood photos everyone brought. For the children, a space of their own and one adult per age group.
Start with the tree, the guest list will follow
An account, a family name, and each branch fills in its own through a link.
Start your tree